Kalimotxo Should Not Be Drunk By Anybody Ever, Including Locals, Tourists or Travelers

kalimotxo

The “Do What The Locals Do” theory can only go so far. In my research in Basque Country, I found that students who are on a budget like to drink Kalimotxo. It’s cheap red wine and Coke. Unlike Hungarians who drink Spritzers (wine and sparkling water), the students in San Sebastian enjoy the sweet taste of Coca-Cola with their Rioja.

We all know the effects of Coke. We all got that infographic on Facebook on what the effects of Coke does to the body. Facebook posts never lie. I don’t drink soda besides fizzy water just for the fact that Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, Dr Pepper etc. has zero nutritional value whatsoever.

Now add half coke and half wine and you have Kalimotxo. You can make a pretty good argument that the wine in Basque Country is the best in the world. I won’t shout you down, but now add Coke to that wine.

So I went forth and ask my new best friend bartender at Atari Gastroleku to make me a Kalimotxo. He tilted his head and said, “Are you sure?” Why not? It’s what the locals students drink.

He made me one with lots of ice in a medium-tall class as you see above. I took a big gulp. It was interesting. Not vile at first, but very sweet. I took a second swig and that’s when the vile sweetness took over. It’s like drinking melted gummy bears with a whole packet of pixie sticks dipped in a unicorn’s testicles. There could be a date rape drug in it and I would never know because the artificial flavors of Coke overpowers any hint of grape. I eventually gave up.

Lessons learned. When you read that students concocted a drink, don’t drink it. Student are cheap and stupid.

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