LaGuardia Airport Plans to Not Suck By 2021


To be filed under “long overdue,” LaGuardia Airport in Queens, New York will be completely overhauled from piece of shit hell hole to brand spanking new airport utopia. Vice President Joe Biden along with New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced a $4 billion demolition and overhaul that will modernize the airport.

Let’s start with why LaGuardia is hell on earth.  It’s insanity to get to. V.P. Biden called it part of a “third world country”. There’s no rail system in or out of the area, which means you need to get a cab/car/uber in a hugely congested and chaotic area or a crowded bus that’s stuck in the same traffic.

When I had to fly into LaGuardia last summer, it took me an hour to get from the airport to Harlem (6 miles) so I could get a subway back into Manhattan. That bus is the closest I’ll get to those overcrowded buses you see in India where luggage and people are piled high on top of the bus.

laguardia_airportInside, it is what it is, which is being kind. It looks like a shopping mall that is on its last legs. To Delta Airlines credit, their terminal has been modernized. They’ll be chipping on that $4 billion price tag.

Here’s what we can expect for the big do-over:

  • A public transit line similar to the AirTrain that supports nearby JFK and Newark Liberty along side a water ferry.
  • Demolition of parking garages to make room for new terminals
  • Two miles of runway extensions, which pilots call USS LaGuardia for the short runways near the water
  • New hotels and a conference center
  • Admin buildings to be rebuilt south of the airport
  • Consolidating the ten rental car areas into one building. It’s like that at Miami International, and it’s wonderful.
  • Modern amenities beyond the sad Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks and Hudson News.

You can read the full report here. The important thing to remember is that this is not a redesign or renovation, this is taking the wrecking ball and starting all over.

My suggestion is to rename the airport all together. I would think that most people flying in don’t know who LaGuardia was — the mayor of New York from 1936-1945, Great Depression to World War II. So it can be renamed after famous New Yorkers like Derek Jeter, Jay-Z, the Ramones, Bloomberg and Trump.

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